The past few weeks have been really tough for me, due to some really stressful times at work. I saw my weight loss slow down, stop, and then creep up a couple pounds just because I was eating the wrong things at the wrong time and when I got home at 9 or 10PM, I didn’t want to make anything so I’d order out. I got away from Calorie Counting. It was only a matter of a couple weeks, and a few pounds, but at then something happened that made me step back and noticed what was going on and had to stop it.
Moms are good people. You don’t always get along with them, but they almost always have your best interest at heart. My mom sent me this image that I hadn’t ever seen before via email on one of my stressful days, and it almost made me break down. She must have taken it when I wasn’t looking, because I never used to let people take pictures of me. I was always so afraid someone would see them who didn’t know just how overweight I was, and would hate me or something. Anyway, here is the picture:
That was January 2010, somewhere between 560 and 600 pounds. I had just bought my bike, and was hoping I would ride it but wasn’t sure I would or could. It was probably the best decision I made for my health other than talking to Dr. Neff. The first time I rode that bike, it took me like 15 minutes to go 2 blocks. The last time I rode a bike (winter sucks) I did 5 miles in an hour. I can’t wait until I can bring my bike to Alexandria and try out the trails this spring.
Anyway, this is me now, down about 200lbs:
I still have a ways to go, but its really important to step back once in a while and remember how far I’ve come. I’ll try to update this more often than I have been, its been a whirlwind three months of moving to the DC area and taking a new job and then taking on more responsibilities at that job.
Its been a while since I posted here, but I’ll be back up to posting regularly soon because I’ll be posting about cooking my own meals. Since I started this blog, everything you’ve seen cooked has been cooked by my parents, because I’ve lived at home in their basement the whole time I’ve blogged here (and since I moved back in Fall 2003 from my failed first attempt at getting a degree).
I wasn’t really ashamed of living in the basement - I know its a nerd stereotype, but it was a pretty nice basement. The two floods were pretty frustrating, but overall it wasn’t a bad experience. But you can’t actually have a life living in your parents basement. Eventually you have to get out on your own again, and so I am.
I recently accepted a position as an IT Manager at a defense contractor in Arlington, VA just outside of DC. I’ll be living on the 14th floor of an apartment building in Alexandria, with a big window facing north towards DC. I’ll be living alone for the first time in my life, and it wouldn’t have happened if not for #publichumiliationdiet, #tweetyourweight and the people who have read this blog.
I wouldn’t even have considered this sort of change 143 pounds ago in May when I started to try to lose weight. I probably wouldn’t even have considered it 70 pounds ago when I had my vertical sleeve surgery. I’m not usually a big fan of change but taking this chance just feels right. So I’m going to live on my own, and learn to cook my own meals (I hope!) and learn what its like to live without the huge safety net that is my wonderful, amazing family.
I’m terrified, but I’m also incredibly excited.
The past few birthdays have been unhappy ones for me. They just felt like another reminder of how fast my life was ticking away. Fat, lonely and with no ambition, time was my enemy. I was so afraid of moving towards the end of my life, which in retrospect made no sense since I didn’t have much of a life to miss in the first place. My life was a series of things I did between fast food meals, and I didn’t like being reminded of how much time had passed.
This birthday was different though. My birthday was about two weeks ago - and even though I didn’t really do much to celebrate it, other than dinner with my family, it was the first birthday in a long time that I enjoyed. It felt good knowing that this is the first birthday in a long time that I knew I would weigh less the next one. That I knew my life would be in a better place next birthday than it is this one. The first time that I felt like I was actually making some progress, and not just desperately trying to maintain my miserable status quo.
Birthdays mean a lot more when your life is not a series of things you do to fill the time between runs to Taco Bell and Wendy’s. I try to think about where I’ll be at next birthday - how much I’ll weigh, where I’ll be living, what I’ll be doing. And for the first time in a long time, I don’t really know. I know what I’d like to be doing, but even if those things haven’t yet come to pass next birthday, I know at the very least, it won’t be exactly the same as the five or six birthdays before it, and that makes me happy.
People want updates, and so update I shall.
It is now a little over 3 weeks since my surgery. I’m down 37 pounds since the surgery, and 110 pounds overall sine May 26th, 2010. Things are going great. I’ll be back to work full time next week, or at least that is my plan. My energy levels aren’t too bad anymore. I’ve had to add a notch to my belt to keep my pants from falling down. Twice. Everything is getting better. I’ve been riding my bike again, and I hope to return to the gym October 1st. I have no doubt that this is the best decision I’ve ever made.
I want to thank everyone who helped - all the doctors I had to see, Val my nutritionist, Dr. Neff my surgeon, and everyone at his office and at the hospital who helped me. I also want to thank my family for being so supportive during all of this.
I have a lot left to go through though, from actually losing this weight and making sure I stay on the right course and making sure I meet my nutritional needs to eventually getting cosmetic surgery to fix things. But I think I’m past the hardest part now, and everything will finally get a little easier, if not easy.
I’ll be posting an update video sometime in the next couple weeks. It should be cool if it works out like I want.
Haven’t been posting my meals lately if only because they are mostly protein shakes. Last night I tried pureed chicken/broccoli and I’m not sure it was meant to be. I love the shakes though. 2 scoops extreme chocolate milk protein powder (48g protein total), 8 ounces of water, 4 ounces 1% milk, 1 banana, 1 tablespoon peanut butter all blended. Its delicious.
Sorry - no photo but - EGGS!
Tiny bit of cheese.
Was amazing. Haha. Also my incision staples and JP drain were removed today by Dr. Neff. Woohoo.
Everything is going pretty good!
I’m actually not really in any pain besides soreness especially when bending down, I’m not even taking the pain meds they gave me. Going to the surgeons office tomorrow for 1 week check up and to hopefully get the JP drain out. We’ll see I guess.
Food is still Jello + drinks. Isopure is just as horrible today as it was the first day, I’m hoping to move to puree pretty quick but we’ll see what the doc says. Been looking at a lot of blogs about making tasty small and nutritious meals, I need to learn to cook myself and I need to do it right. One that sticks out is The World According to Eggface - so many good recipes, even for the puree phase!
So tomorrow is my vertical sleeve weight loss surgery. I thought I would be more terrified, but I’m remarkably calm, just sitting here trying to get some stuff done for work over the VPN. Not sure if I’ll be able to sleep tonight or not.
This is the begining of a whole new life for me if I do what I’m supposed to, and if the surgery goes ok. I hope I can get over my fears and do the things I want to.
We’ll see. I’ll update when I’m out of surgery, which starts at 8AM.